Words

By popular demand… the story of fifteen men’s Canadian Invasion

It was a cold dark night when fifteen men awoke seperately from their silent slumber and slipped steathily out into the quiet fields of northern Minnesota. Moving quickly across the cold rough terrain the fifteen men assembled together at their predetermined rally point. Using only hand motions and gestures they began to carry out their plan.

You see five months ago these same men conspired to attempt the most dangerous mission ever conceived. Down in the deepest depths of their dark souls they knew they must succeed. Together they held the solid and unmovable belief and conviction that Canada must be annexed by the United States and that it was only by force that this would ever be achieved. Canada and the United States must be united for apart they are too weak and may be easily overthrown by the most horrible and evil prarie dogs of the great plains.

Back in the field, the fifteen men took hold of their weapons and ran towards the Canadian border. Clutching tightly to their plastic wiffle ball bats, birdie rackets, and spearmint gum, they crossed the line and entered into Canada. This mission was to convince the local Canadian village of the impending doom from the evil prarie dogs. That their only hope was to join the United States and together overcome all foes. If through words they failed, forceful use of their terrible weapons would be unleashed.

However, the terrible plan was about to be foiled. For there was one who would betray the group and destroy the mission. This one was weak since a simple offer of a glass of beer at the local pub from the evil prarie dogs and he turned on his fellow conspirators. Over the drink he spoke too freely of the plan that the fifteen men had developed.

As the men crossed the border into Canada, the evil prarie dogs had set a trap. Upon the first man’s foot stepping into their neighboring country a large elephant was shot out of the ground and landed directly in front of the stunned group. Surprised at this new development the men knew their arch nemesis the evil prarie dogs must have been behind the elephant. And peering behind the elephand they indeed saw the prarie dogs standing tall and proud. Shouting “Run Away” the fifteen men retreated from their invasion, their mission ruined, never to be tried again.